Pictures of my life!!!

every day I paint a new picture,one that becomes my life
dont paint with colors but with emotions, I know will never suffice
I dont paint rainbows nor mountains nor the sun shining through clouds
Mine are more elaborate, even though time wears the shapes out
My pictures are never complete, for the next day I add on more
But they speak more than my words can, of that I am so sure
my dreams give me more colors and with them I paint my days
they give my life more meaning and make my pain allay

Everyday i paint a new picture, one from my days long gone
I paint with colors not emotions,it hurts to be fake, but I still carry on
I know it is futile but, still I try to change those days
Try to paint clouds and rainbows,try to paint a smile on my face
Even though now the pictures are complete,to them I can't relate
For all they speak is silence and all they show is hate
I dont want to paint those days any more as my colors have dried up now
I have chosen to paint my days ahead, I have chosen to make them count

The word i Dread!!!!!!!!!!

The people whom i care about are not those who always make me laugh, they are not those who stick to me no matter what i have done(right or wrong), in fact they disappoint me time and again.
Let me also add that my standards are very dubious and i have them for every one except myself.
Also, many people disappoint me(both friends, foes and even those i don't know), but the people whom i am still able to talk eye to eye even though they disappoint me are those i care about. I am biased towards them, sometimes blatantly back them no matter what, but what i want to prove is that i will be there even if they think i am not worthy of their trust! Not only to shower praises on them but also bare the brunt if push comes to shove!!

I thought my worst fear was the feeling that "i was hated by some one", i couldn't live with that thought in mind. Then i thought that being indifferent in someones eyes is worse. But now i know the thing i fear the most.....
What is that u might ask!!!!

Well its being classified as "Everybody".Comprehend??? No?? Well, let me explain...........

I don't expect the people whom i care about to reelect the same feeling towards me. Because i know that would be very unjust to them. but having said that, what would be more unjust is them telling me not to care about them........ Who in the name of God gave them that divine right???

I care about someone not because they were good to me during the times i was a mess, probably sulking around. Instead i care about them because i want to be good to them no matter what. Because being good to the people i care about make me happy, above all.... And I shamelessly admit it!!!!!

I couldn't care less if they don't have the same feeling of warmth towards me(although i admit that at times it hurts a bit), i wouldn't mind if they started hating me(even though i would cry for some time, i know i will get over,eventually). but one thing i know for sure is that, it would KILL me if the people i care about classify me as "every one".


Be it through love or be it through hate i want to be special in some regard in their life, for one thing i know hate and love look a lot alike from where i stand!!!!!!
but being categorized as "everyone" that doesn't make u special.That just makes u another one to make up the numbers,another marking on the wall and another person in the crowd.

I for one dont want to be that..........