the devil of the fall

all I see are dotted lines
on this pyro lit sky
in wake of this revelation
my desires choose to die
without a method to the madness
am no longer holy now
elations bury my inhibitions
but I stay sane somehow
all my leaves have bled their color
from trees that once stood tall
with whispering words I confess
I am the devil of the fall

this insane cycle keeps moving
as black turns to grey
birds fly off to greener places
in search of the light of day
instant gratification beckons
as my hunger ceases now
Gods agree to bring the rain
but I refuse to bow
the sounds go deaf in this silence
there is no beck and call
with whispering words I confess
I am the devil of the fall

legend of the lie

this world is so empty
I’ll find my place in hell
blind ruling those who can see
stories or real, hard to tell
the blessed homicide beckons
sacrifices mar the day
fate so unkind
heads hang in shame
I'll desecrate this existence
decimate this string of lies
the phony will not survive
as the curses chose to die
I’ll rewrite this treason
dare to walk the line
immolate the holy water
I don’t need a sign

the code

In this world there is a code every one lives by. Some people chose not to trust others, some live to please others, some live their life in a superficial bliss. My code on the other hand is simple; it is to not give a damn!

To hell with the ass kissers, fuck those who think otherwise. Who the hell fucking cares about respect, honor and all that bull crap? The answer is no one. These are just words carved by our fore fathers who chose to hide behind their veil of conformity only to be consumed by their own condescending reflections. You might say truth is the essence of life, truth is only for those who have the testicular fortitude to endure it, for others it’s served as a mild mock tail until they realize it was just a sham and it’s too late to get high now. I might sound ignorant to most out there, who the hell am I to judge your judgments. But believe me this crazy ignorance is the best feeling you have, until it lasts! Think about it, the only catastrophe a child can picture in his mind is a world without candy; all of us have been there. Now that we have grown up and have bathed in that vile rain called social acceptance we have a whole skyscraper of worries, I can name at least 10 which start with each alphabet I know. So ask yourself this question, do you really feel elated that you know the world. We like to believe that there is God inside of us; I am no one to tell you that you couldn’t be more wrong. But the fact of the matter is that there are more monsters inside of us than his blessed name can slay.



For all those who love me, I am your servant and you are my weakness and for those who chose to hate me, well you have made me stronger. There is nothing that happens for a reason, there is nothing that fate decides, everything happens for change. But what good is this change when we are still held captive in the prison of our mind. There is no fucking reason I am writing this, my blasphemous overtures are sporadic and fade away paving way for more darkness only to be killed by the light. This is my code and I don’t give a damn what others think. You think I am stubborn? Look into my eyes, they might have the color of murder but its reflections don’t lie, you are just like me.

New year and My New Dreams !!!

We are all made of hopes, dreams, wishes and prayers…..and nothing embodies it all or brings out the best in us than the first few days of the year….don't u think so…….

No matter how good or bad your previous year was…doesn’t matter if u are an optimist or not…doesn’t matter if u are the ultimate cynic this meniagere call society has to provide…one thing is certain, u always put the best foot forward when a new year commences….
You might be the laziest person in town, who could care less about others let alone your own future..but on the 31 st of December before the clock strikes 12 for midnight you have made a new year resolution…..”I will work harder this year” or “I will clear the CAT this year” “I will not be the butt of all jokes in class” so on and so forth…..the list goes on and on….

Happy New Year….these three words are targeted to somehow provide us with the impetus to make our year better…to get up and wipe the dust off our back side and not let the but-print on the couch be a permanent one and do something with our not so perfect life.

But from here on …at least from next year..when I say happy new year to anyone..friend, enemy, rakhi sawant or whoever..i would mean just one thing…and this would apply to me as well….hope I live up to my “new year resolutions” and hope that next year by this time ….no matter how unforgiving this past year has been to me on an academic or professional or personal front , I still have one thing I can smile about….the fact that I atleast tried…….

Coz no amount of day dreaming or gazing at the sky with your mouth wide open will help u get what you want……there are only 2 ways…

One……you have to be god damn lucky every single time….best of luck with that
Or there is the more pragmatic way…Become the Author of to your dreams…….

What the **** are toilets for…….

I have been living in bangalore for over a year now….the climate is great…..the food even though its expensive its pretty much ok….there are lots of places to hang out, although for the best part of the day I am an introvert I would still like to keep my options open….let me warn u, there are some very pertinent and perrinial problems like the Traffic, Auto drivers who want to be millionaires with their night time fares or the occassional eunuch you see on the road dressed for a marriage yet begging for money and demanding for it at the same time, I can still safely say that I love this place……

Now u guys …(the few whom I persuade to read the jibberish I come up with)..must be wondering what the title of this blog stands for…..

My office is near by Majestic Bus stand….i am sure all of you know were dat is….every day at about 9 in the morning I get down at platform 13 and walk on the fly over and drag myself through the plethora of people around me to get to the office….As u make your way out of the bus stand, you cant help but notice a whole motley of vendors on the pavement outside… I can literally make out their faces now…probably even draw a sketch or a caricature of them….and even if one of them goes missing one day I would notice it ….dats how inconspicuous and “perfect to my eye” they have become….Its like people have staked their claim on the pavement outside…there are a couple of guys who have set up their stalls selling mobile phone gizmos(never have I seen anyone buyin anything from them), then there is this guy selling mirrors and other bric and brak…there is a small “pandal” selling shoes of all brands..from bata to georgio armani….and then there are my favourite people the “poori walas”, never in my life have I seen people more aggressive and passionate about their work….The have their work divided amongst themselves…there are guys who spread out the dough, guys who put it on the pan, guys who serve it, guys who collect the money and guys who do the marketing bit and boy all of them do a good job…..Who says u need an MBA to be a manager..Arindam Choudary…better write a book on these folks next time….

After writing all of this I realise I have deviated from my topic….

So let me steer my self back on to my “blog Track”

Right beside the poori walas Empire….is a big wall…I don’t know wats on the other side…but it’s a big wall nonetheless ……

And you cant help but notice that some one has taken the effort to clean the pavement….how do u know dat, some of my passionate followers might ask…well I bet u can make out the marks left on the pavement after water has dried out..water which someone obviously used to clean the pavement….Einstien…..

And then you see the occassional Guy who is relieving himslef against the same wall….I don’t know about others but I seriously feel like kicking him where it hurts the most, for crying out loud …he has some audacity to do dat and spoil some ones early morning effort…whereas a 2 rupee coin would give him a toilet and some privacy, which he obviously is oblivious about.

Any ways……. I like to go to office with a clear mind and some how try to erase those thoughts from my mind….Most of the days I have an easy time at the office and at about 8 or nine in the evening I pack my bags and walk back with my friends to the bus stand….

And when I am about to reach the same wall….yeah you are correct …the very wall …against which a moron was proving his shamlessness and exercising his so called “Male earned rights”…..I cant help but notice dat there are almost ten or twenty times the number of morons …..and that some one has cleaned the pavement again..and tis time u can actually see the water…it hasn’t dried off!!!!!

And right about the time when you start appreciating the cleaners persistance and loyalty towards his work…you feel ashamed of the fact dat you are a “Man”…..What you think is water is something else…..and I bet you know where I am coming from…or to be more precise where the water is coming from…The marks that you see every morning are not the marks left behind when water evaporated they are somehting else…..And there is so much of it dat I actually feel the poori walas gang would have a boat hidden somewhere near by for the imminent flood …….

I lose my sense of respect for the Poori walas..coz they sell food around such filth….i feel sorry for vendors who despite the odour sit and sell their cheap merchandise….i feel sorry for me and my friends for having walked through all of that not knowing wat it was…..But most of all I feel sorry for those elegant Artists who have their work displayed free of cost on the wall and on the pavement….

Its high time they are paid for their work….At this rate even if the poori walas drown or not…..those artists will probably die of dehydration or working for free….dats for sure….

And if that happens…..My God ……..dat will bring a smile to my face….Coz never have I been more ashamed of being a man……….

Pictures of my life!!!

every day I paint a new picture,one that becomes my life
dont paint with colors but with emotions, I know will never suffice
I dont paint rainbows nor mountains nor the sun shining through clouds
Mine are more elaborate, even though time wears the shapes out
My pictures are never complete, for the next day I add on more
But they speak more than my words can, of that I am so sure
my dreams give me more colors and with them I paint my days
they give my life more meaning and make my pain allay

Everyday i paint a new picture, one from my days long gone
I paint with colors not emotions,it hurts to be fake, but I still carry on
I know it is futile but, still I try to change those days
Try to paint clouds and rainbows,try to paint a smile on my face
Even though now the pictures are complete,to them I can't relate
For all they speak is silence and all they show is hate
I dont want to paint those days any more as my colors have dried up now
I have chosen to paint my days ahead, I have chosen to make them count

The word i Dread!!!!!!!!!!

The people whom i care about are not those who always make me laugh, they are not those who stick to me no matter what i have done(right or wrong), in fact they disappoint me time and again.
Let me also add that my standards are very dubious and i have them for every one except myself.
Also, many people disappoint me(both friends, foes and even those i don't know), but the people whom i am still able to talk eye to eye even though they disappoint me are those i care about. I am biased towards them, sometimes blatantly back them no matter what, but what i want to prove is that i will be there even if they think i am not worthy of their trust! Not only to shower praises on them but also bare the brunt if push comes to shove!!

I thought my worst fear was the feeling that "i was hated by some one", i couldn't live with that thought in mind. Then i thought that being indifferent in someones eyes is worse. But now i know the thing i fear the most.....
What is that u might ask!!!!

Well its being classified as "Everybody".Comprehend??? No?? Well, let me explain...........

I don't expect the people whom i care about to reelect the same feeling towards me. Because i know that would be very unjust to them. but having said that, what would be more unjust is them telling me not to care about them........ Who in the name of God gave them that divine right???

I care about someone not because they were good to me during the times i was a mess, probably sulking around. Instead i care about them because i want to be good to them no matter what. Because being good to the people i care about make me happy, above all.... And I shamelessly admit it!!!!!

I couldn't care less if they don't have the same feeling of warmth towards me(although i admit that at times it hurts a bit), i wouldn't mind if they started hating me(even though i would cry for some time, i know i will get over,eventually). but one thing i know for sure is that, it would KILL me if the people i care about classify me as "every one".


Be it through love or be it through hate i want to be special in some regard in their life, for one thing i know hate and love look a lot alike from where i stand!!!!!!
but being categorized as "everyone" that doesn't make u special.That just makes u another one to make up the numbers,another marking on the wall and another person in the crowd.

I for one dont want to be that..........