Someday!!!!!!!!

Someday I will fly

and the world will want to be me

Someday I will stand tall

I'll forget the shame and once again breathe

Some day I will cry

and my tears will wash away the scars I have

Someday I will scream

the silence that imprisons me will break at last

some day I will forget

all the pain I endured in my struggle to be free

Someday I will break

the shackles that bind me and my dreams

Someday I will no longer run away

but will conquer fear with the memories long gone

Someday I will no longer complain

for then I will have all I ever want

Someday I will smile

for then I will finally start to believe

Someday when I have gone away

The world will stand still and cry for me

its time we lost the war

fought hard not to break down, fought to not fail

didnt realise the time we lost and the friends that went away

emotions took a beating but stuck to our way of life

but our victories left us stranded and our greed wouldn't suffice

were passionate about our endeavours but forgot how once we smiled

how once we dream't all through the day, into the night

defeat was not an option for it left us hungry for more

victory became our prerogative although it left us unsure

jelousy became a companion, life a long lost cause

indifference became second nature, to life and what we lost

ambitions became pretexts for why we all had changed

forgot to let our eyes speak instead we spoke disdain

we fought,but it got us nowhere, although medals we have galore

we win all our battles, but i hope we lose the war
____________________________________________

indestructable

every time I tried to fly, I fell down time and time again

only to give it one more try, even as the world made fun of my shame

never saw the stars up close, never soared through the clouds

but always believed I would make it some day..some day..without a doubt..

each time I failed and fell to the ground below, my spirit took a greater fall

but slowly as I began to rise, I had a smile, though the height I rose was small

and then one day when I saw the stars, felt the clouds with my naked hand

I realised that I missed the ones I'd left..I missed the feel of sand

I knew I couldn't get back there for only higher could I fly

the thought that I wouldn't walk again made me want to cry

so I stopped flapping my wings, it broke my heart as I did

falling through the clouds I had the sight of land ...I had so missed

I knew the fall would hurt me but I battled fear with a smile

I comforted my self by saying..that the pain would only last a while

and then when I hit the ground, it broke my wings but my spirit remained intact

I knew I would never fly again but I got the courage I always lacked

Disappointment!!!!

Some one once told me that the person who cant hide his own disappointments has no right to offer respite when some one else feels the same way.”well said”.But the way I see it – it is easier to console some one else than console the person inside you. For most times you know the person inside you so well that u know any amount of consoling and cajoling yourself wont help. This is my way of looking at this issue and I don't expect any one else to follow my lead!!!!There is another way of putting this topic into perspective,a blunt way to lay out this frame of thought is that you don't clearly understand what the other person is going through during his phase of sulking and cribbing , but when you have to hitch hike a ride in the same wagon it all seems so pragmatic ….so “ not childish” ….so right...isn't it so???



Whenever I see a friend of mine having a bad time...it never crosses my mind why he/she is feeling this way..the only thing I care about is bringing him/her out of this doldrum and some how make them forget all of their problems,even if the period of isolation “from disappointment” is evanescent and fades away quickly , I still feel good if I can some how distract my friend. The way I see it “the End justifies the means” and nothing else matters. I could care less about why that some one feels the way he/she does but some it kills me when I see them in their sorry state!!!!I don't expect any one to feel sorry for me when I am having a bad time. And it is this very state of mind that makes me appreciate some ones concern for me,when he/she actually feels sorry. I agree, I sulk a lot and it takes a lot of time for me to get over,but what this prolonged period of sadness does is that it makes me more skeptical whenever a similar situation arises......and this is believe me it is a good thing.



So for all you “fellow sulkers “ out there..sulk all u want...remember it makes u stronger no matter what any one thinks about it......and there is nothing wrong in consoling some one else, even if at the end of the day you can't do the same for yourself!!!!!!

God of the masses

You can block the sun and allow the darkness to creep in,

But can you rise above it, can you make the fireflies sing?

You can close your eyes and walk not fearing what you might become,

But can you blind others' fears, can you see through their eyes for once?

You can break the shackles at will, you can fight for what you think is right;

But, for once, can you forgive your enemies, can you resist the urge to fight?

You think your courage will get you there, you know all the pain you can endure;

But, to be a god of the masses, you need to be human and much more.

You can spread your wings and fly; you can touch the skies and stars;

But can you make out the faces from up there, once you've gone so far?

You can run faster than all others; you can walk on water, climb the wind;

But can you jump over the walls that surround you, can you break free from within?

You can change the seasons when you want to, make spring come after fall;

But can you have flowers bloom in winter, can you make it snow in summer at all?

You believe that your good deeds will earn you a place, you hope they'll take you to heaven's stairs;

But there is more to being a god of the masses, more than just listening to prayers!

Between life and fiction

I still lose my self every other time, between fiction and life,

I try hard not to give in but my temptation won’t suffice;

For in my thoughts, I could be anyone... any one I choose to be,

I could die and be born again… choose the stories that make my dreams.

In life even though I have earned a place... all I do is complain,

In life my wrinkles deepen every day... but in my thoughts I still remain the same.

I somehow wish my thoughts could be real… this is the only reason I pray,

I could give my whole life for that chance ... for that feeling... for that small day.

I don't rest on my delusions... nor do I hide them inside me,

But I stick on to them for dear life... for with them even with closed eyes I can see.

It brings a smile to my face when I picture myself living in fiction and not in life,

But I know I will fall back to reality... I know its about time!

The day I lost some one I never knew…..

Strange, how some times we don’t even notice how a friendship is going down hill. We take it for granted that things will get sorted out, but deep down inside have this tickling sensation that they never will. We consider ourselves justified in thinking that we had nothing to do with these state of affairs but as the saying goes “It takes two to tango”. No matter how many times we think it over and no matter how we try to console ourselves the blunt truth still eats us from within. The relationship as I said would have been in a state of painful suspense for quite some time. Weeks of not talking and even if u manage to get to that someone to talk all u get is monosyllables, the way I see it silence gives less pain than monosyllables, doesn’t it?? Ultimately what happens is that you start having this feeling of…I wouldn’t say hatred, something less harsh or loud than that. To put it in right words or as the French would say- the “mot juste” would be despise, i.e. you actually start despising that person, no matter how inappropriate and unfair it might sound.

Some say that words over the phone never do justice, I agree, face to face conversation is the best medicine to this ailment. And when the D day comes and you actually start talking face to face, you have this outburst of emotion …… the reason being u feel that u can talk sense into that other person. I know that’s a stupid statement but as Tom Hanks said in his oscar winning Forest Gump – “stupid is what stupid does”. And believe me the stupidity here is not the fact that u had a diarrhea of harsh words or the fact that you only took your emotions into account, the stupidity here is that you didn’t know the other person well enough to realize that he/she would never entertain a difference of opinion.

Then as the days move on, you try to go through the motions and forget that some one, but still contemplate what went wrong and quitely try to find that one stone you probably left unturned .You still put in your efforts (not with the same rigor I might add but an effort none the less) and when you still get silence and the same old monosyllables from the other end you make up your mind. You accept the fact that you have lost some one, someone who at one point of time was very dear to you, some one whom you could open up to. But for all of that-the closeness was interpreted as irritation, the openness you used to cherish was taken as signs of immaturity and weakness and then you make up your mind again, probably for the last time you fear- you lost some one very dear to you…but some one you never really knew.